Dear Family,

Today I finished updating Mum’s Family Calendar for 2015. You will note that I have spent a not inconsiderable amount of time labelling all the columns with our respective names, and adding birthdays and other significant anniversaries.


Training dates for all family sporting activities have been added and I have also put in all the races I am planning to do – so it is now a race calendar as well. These races have been written in indelible ink and cannot be changed.

Should you want to add anything onto the calendar then you need to apply for approval, which is detailed as follows:

  • Please check before planning an event that nothing else has been booked for that day already.
  • Then double check with ‘The Boss’, aka me.
  • Once you have approval for your plans, please write it in the appropriate box for the day.

If the date of an event changes, then the following procedure should be implemented:

  • Inform ‘The Boss’ as soon as a change of date becomes necessary.
  • Check that nothing else has been booked for the new date.
  • Apply in writing – in triplicate – for a change of date.
  • Then update the calendar (this includes crossing out the old information).
  • You are also responsible for re-arranging any childcare, transport or catering resulting as a consequence of the change of date.

You may not double book anything. Obviously I have complete control of the calendar and I will always know what was written in first because I am the only one who ever writes anything in the calendar so don’t even try.

Barring acts of god (or Izzy going splat) if something is in the calendar then it will happen and you may not wriggle out of it by pretending that you didn’t know or that nobody told you. Ignorance (not checking the calendar) is not an excuse. You will be expected to attend / support / arrange childcare / look after yourself on that day.

If something you are doing is not entered on to the calendar then I do not know about it, even if you verbally told me, and I cannot be held responsible for any childcare issues or clashes that arise.

Finally, please check your change as mistakes cannot be rectified later.

Lots of love

Your Wife / Mam

P.S. I can change whatever I want, whenever I want. It’s my calendar. So ner, ner, ner, ner, ner.

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